Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
