Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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