There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
