we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
