Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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