I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
