Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize