So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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