I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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