Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
