I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
