if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
