Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
