she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
you made out with another girl for some wings
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
