Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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