hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
