He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
