I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
