I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
