Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
