Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
