It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
