best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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