Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
