You can't special order awesome
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
