Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
