I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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