Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
