Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
