i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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