Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
