oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
