he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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