I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think your dad took our porno
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
