some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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