By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
