Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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