Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
