they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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