Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
