'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
