There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
