His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
