I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
