is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize