i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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