It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
