I can tuck mytits in my pants
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
