i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Randomize
