Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
