1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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