She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
