3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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