just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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