Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
