Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I will be naked everywhere
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
