would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
