weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize