Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
