Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
