I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
