He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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