My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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