just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
