I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize