and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
