Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
