Don't you send me to vm
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize